Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
two words: eviction party
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
