so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
