Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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