I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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