So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
