So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
