You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
