hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Blood and glitter go together right?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize