If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
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