maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
