He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize