it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
