last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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