I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
sex in a hospital.. check
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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