Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize