We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
