Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
