I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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