so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
