do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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