i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
