Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
