The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
