I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
