I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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