I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
