sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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