And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
