You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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