Your face is a jimmy john
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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