His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
