I pooped in a mop bucket.
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I seem to have left my pride at pride
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
We're too hungover to prance.