Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize