I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
It's shark week go big or go home