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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job

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• (801): View more from Utah

  I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES

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• (646): View more from New York

  I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm

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• (818): View more from California

  I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (660): View more from Missouri

  I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom

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• (813): View more from Florida

  I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.

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• (561): View more from Florida

  Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants

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