I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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