im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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