You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
