come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
