He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
