i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
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I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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