Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Just invented taco cereal.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
