she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
