Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I need water and some morals
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
