Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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