oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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