She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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