What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
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Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
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In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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