u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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