so explain again why im purple
no
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
