I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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