Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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