And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
