maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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