I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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