Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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