when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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