You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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