He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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