I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
