I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize