Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize