are you so shy because you have an std?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
