when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Duck Duck Cougar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize