and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
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