Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
