New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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