He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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